Fashion frivolity

I do not normally think of myself as vain, but I bookmarked this youtube video for reference.  The music plus post-production editing makes this an easy video to watch... plus I never knew what to do with scarves around my neck.  My neck is used to the tropics and even the slight wind chill at 16 degrees C in London is too much for me.  I HAD to find a way to keep my neck warm.  Arranged the piece of cloth around my neck in the Modern One Loop for 2 days during my June trip to London. 
I was bored with tying the scarf the same way on the third morning and asked my German teammate A (or maybe it was J) to help this clueless Singapore tie the scarf.  Wish I had seen this video before my London trip....  ah but now I have 24 more ways to wear a scarf.

Presenting....... *drum roll please* 25 ways to wear a scarf in 4.5minutes
by Wendy Cheng

Seats on the MRT

Singapore is a crowded place.  The latest statistics I remember are 5 million people living on an island of approximately 700 square kilometers.  I cruised through traffic lights today while driving Small Boy to Aunt’s place, and Medium Boy to school.   I wondered why until I looked at the time.  Ah, it was 7.57am when I set off.  The ERP gantries along the route I take switch to a higher costs (and more money off motorists’ pockets) from 8am onwards. 

The lack of the usual jostle for space on the roads this morning started me thinking about a satirical piece on getting a seat on our public train system the MRT.  A simple Google search for ‘get MRT seat’ pointed to this column.  Yes my memory serves me right.  Indeed a Daily Mail columnist posted a tongue in cheek guide to getting a seat on the London Tube in Oct 2011, and that column found its way into Singapore internet forums rapidly.

In my late teens, getting an MRT seat was a game to me.   I did have a set of rules similar to what the columnist laid out, like standing in the “fertile valley” with a 360 degree overview, and picking out school children who were due to alight…. that required some knowledge of where their schools are.  White on white uniforms always threw me off, as there are many boys’ schools in Singapore that boys wear white on white.  I also avoided the reserved seats as sitting on them meant that I would have to keep a look out for the elderly, young, pregnant and disabled.  Hey it was just a game then….

And then I became pregnant for the first time.  During my first and second trimesters, I took the bus and MRT to work, as the Husband and I were waiting for COE car prices to drop to a reasonable level before we shell out money for a liability (yes that is what a car really is financially).  I noticed a strange phenomenon.  Most of the time, it was NOT the well dressed office workers, who presumably would be more educated, that gave up seats to me.  Instead the schoolchildren, the middle aged uncles and aunties, and sometimes even the white-haired elderly leapt out of their seats to offer them to me.  The well dressed office workers dozed off when I approached.   Well, let’s draw our own conclusions on this interesting phenomenon, and of course one person’s experience is not definitive or conclusive of anything……

Strong Moments

Most people would have encounted the phrase 'win-win' negotiations where both parties are supposed to walk away good with the outcomes they have negotiated for themselves.  When I look at Medium Boy and Small Boy, I waver sometimes in my decision not to send them to my alma mater primary school.    Is it possible that they are the skilful minority who are able to excel academically and grow up with values of community service, care for self and others, and generally being a good neighbour?  I do not know.  The debate continues in my mind.

I recall Jack Goodwin, a Texan cowboy with a doctorate in business, and my teacher in the courses "Customer Service" and "Managing... (something or other)", booming from the front of the lecture hall.... "Re-MEM-ber the power of AND, and the tyranny of OR!"

Oh Jack, we all have 24 hours in a day.  In every single aspect of life (family, health, work, community), I need to model to the boys how to live strong and live fully.  Weak moments, how matter how good my performance the external world judges it to be, ultimately weaken me... they are the things that I feel energy draining from me when I am doing them.....

My strong moments occur when

• I figure something out
• I spend time by myself reading, writing or preparing my mind
• a fresh insight dawns on me
• I have an in-depth conversation with someone
• I have a chance to show my expertise.
• I discover the few critical improvements that make the difference
• someone calls me out of the blue and relies on my opinion
• I clarify a complex issue for someone, she acts on what I tell her, and I see her succeed
• I land on a distinction that reveals an elemental truth about the world
• I am asked to be an expert witness.

I will continue to observe Medium Boy and Small Boy to find out what their strong moments are.

Observations on Medium Boy's strong moments here
To be continued...

Medium Boy is still a small boy

Medium Boy is at the age where he talks. A lot. He uses reason and logic to catch the times I am inconsistent. He is a good teacher to cultivate my integrity and patience.

I caved in on Sunday evening and bought him the stroller fan from NTUC supermarket because he was persistent.  Times like this, I wish the Husband were around to buffer me.  He is away on a weeklong business trip.

Medium Boy is seldom vulnerable now in the day. He can do things by himself thank you very much Mama. 2 incidents happened recently to remind me how young he still is ….  I think of him mostly as a big boy now because he is big brother to Small Boy.

As I was putting him to bed Monday night, he asked me “Mama, pls will you sayang (love) me?” with a plaintive note in his voice.   He had been quiet for ~5 minutes as I was tending to Small Boy before the plea for attention.  I looked into his eyes, and remember when I first held him in my arms after birthing…. How I will love him all the way to the moon, and back.  Then I gave him a long hug with our arms entwined around each other, kissed him on the forehead and made soothing noises.

This morning, Medium Boy was playing with his new NTUC-bought fan.  It was the usual morning rush to get both boys ready.  Out of the blue, he asked me “Mama, am I a winner or loser?”  I replied “You are a winner, of course.  See you are dressed and didi is not….”  He turned back to the fan and said…. “But Mama, A (his classmate) said I am a loser during the concert” [Medium Boy’s N2 class performed for the school K2 graduation concert last Saturday]

I stopped what I was doing, walked to him, hugged him, then told him “Medium Boy, you will always be Mama’s winner.  You are good at many things, and you are a loving brother.  Ignore A.  Tell me if he says anything that makes you sad or angry inside again.”

A had called Medium Boy a name before.  Medium Boy is the sort to brood, and think quiet thoughts by himself.  I am now debating if (and how) I should bring this incident up to his school teachers….   What do I expect them to do anyway?  Nothing, is my honest answer.  I just need advice on how they will handle such a situation if it were their own child, and also their professional insight on how to manage such quarrels between 2 children.  After all, Medium Boy and Small Boy are likely to trade heated words sometime when they are growing up.

Monday Reboot

Small Boy woke this Monday morning when the sunlight came in.  He was awake at 645am.  The sun tends to rise early these days... hmm... the sky is usually dark by 7pm.  There are indeed seasons in Singapore, but one needs to be very observant to notice the slight differences of time passing.

Medium Boy woke at 730am.  Drank his chocolate milk that Popo bought for him on Saturday.

I am back at home by 835am after chauffeur duties.  It is a good start to the week.....

Sun Salutations

This morning, I needed a boost of energy to start the day.  I remember reading from either Style or Shape or Female about yoga sun salutations ~10 years ago.  Even stuck the page up with Blu Tack onto my cupboard so that I did 8 sets every morning.  The Sun Salutations are a series of 12 poses that build strength and flexibility.
Googled and this is the best animation.  The basic steps in pictorial form is here.
I completed 4 sets this morning, and find myself out of breath.   This exercise is not as easy as the animation makes it look!

Handling the boys alone for an evening plus the demands of the job meant a very physically exhausted and cranky me... which led to Medusa Mom moments with both Medium Boy and Small Boy last evening and this morning.  Sigh.  I really need to sleep more, eat well and exercise.  To last the distance, as my virtual colleague M from Austria has been reminding me for the past week.  He said that one rushed soul recognises another..... I am not sure if I am happy that he cares, or perturbed that he is able to pick up my hectic life even from the next continent.

Time for my breakfast of cheest on toast after exercising.  As Stephen Covey says in Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw, I need to stop and take a breath, and work on my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspect of life.

Mr Bach

I appreciate music and prose that is orderly.  Mr Bach (I call him that in my mind as if he is my favourite uncle) wrote music that comprise of variations on a theme.  Using a 4 note base, he is able to craft a concise elegant piece that may be played backwards, forwards, upside down... and all of that makes for good music that is easy on the ear.  His technical expertise wows.

I remember starting with Bach’s The Well Tempered Clavier Prelude in C Major (youtube video here) when I was 8 or 9 years old, and working my way through the 48 pieces.  Simply because I loved his music… and I enjoyed making music together with Mr Bach.

Bach's fugues and preludes typically span 4-7 minutes when played.  They are akin to appetizers presented with elegance and depth, and what depth they provide when I start to pull them apart to discover the rules behind.  Listening to Bach music is pleasant... they are not the airy and frothy confections of Mozart desserts.  I love desserts, but eating too many desserts make me sick in the stomach.  Bach’s tapas suit me just fine.

In Bach’s world, music is like mathematics.  There are rules around harmonics (segueing between different sounds) that he adheres to, and then adds his own seemingly exhaustive variations on the rules such that each prelude and fugue is a beautiful bonsai (miniature Japanese garden).  Perhaps I like Mr Bach because I like the simplicity of mathematical building blocks.  Everything may be derived from first principles and that is perfect for me… I do not have to memorise much!  I am lazy that way…

Watching the Piano Guys perform gave me a new reason to exercise my fingers on the keyboard again.    

I am teaching Medium Boy and Small Boy how to recognize the keys on the piano, so that should give me more reason to pick up piano playing again.  Their most requested song is currently “Happy Birthday” J

I shudder at becoming a MIL

Sometimes the most unexpected posts turn up from the most unexpected people in facebook.

This was posted by someone whom I know to be a staunch Buddhist believer.  Out of curiosity, and partly because of the URL, I clicked onto the link, and found myself nodding in agreement. 

The time will come when Medium Boy and Small Boy choose their spouses.  Together with choosing a job (how to spend their time), this is probably the most important other life decision (who to spend their time with) that they will make at some point.

When I realise I will not have daughters (see previous post), I shuddered at the thought of one day becoming the dreaded woman - the Mother In Law.

The One Currency that We Spend

This is one of my philosophical days…. It is difficult to find time to think my own thoughts nowadays.  My work teammate L asked how I did it all, a full time job with telecons at out of office hours, managing a household with 2 children (yes I have a domestic live in helper like most Singaporeans do, but having full time live in help is like managing staff.  and in some ways, more important than at work, as she is with helping me to grow Medium Boy and Small Boy into responsible men) and wow now I blog too.
I told her - a bit flippantly, I must admit – that I sleep very little and eat very fast.
Time is in short supply right now.  Once spent, time is the one currency that cannot be earned, saved or invested.... it has just flown off.  I aim to fill each minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run (adapted from Kipling's "If").

Before children, I have the luxury of 9 hours of continuous sleep at night on weeknights, with an hour or 2 spent napping on Saturdays and Sundays.  The Husband used to shake his head and say I am sleeping my life away.  After Medium Boy’s birth, my sleep was broken up into silvers.  I learnt that one can survive on 4-5 hours of sleep during a 24 hour period.  Survive, not thrive.  Now I sleep 6-7 hours and they are not often continuous, although these 6-7 hours are all at night now that the boys are older.

When deciding to go for a lateral move at work, one of my considerations was how much time I would need to spend at work, such that I have brain space for the Husband and the boys.  I put aside the chance of a promotion to concentrate on my family.  Some part of me (the exam smart, achievement-oriented, type A remnants of me) thinks it is a stupid move.  I felt especially stupid after the HR email was distributed, stating that there is a staff shortage at the level I would have been promoted to, and line supervisors – of course! – prefer to recruit someone into their team from the internal pool. 
An external candidate needs to learn quickly in 3 areas: the Company, the Business Unit or Function, then the Job one is recruited to do.  Internal candidates shortcut the learning curve because we already know the Company and sometimes the Business Unit or Function.

Why Birds do not have Teeth

Medium Boy, Small Boy and I crowd around the sink every night to complete our teeth brushing routine.

From my growing up snippets, I recorded the following on 16 Jan 2012.

MB: Birds do not have teeth, Mama!
Me: Yes dear, why do you think that is so?
MB: Maybe they did not brush their teeth, so all fell out....

Passion in Action

I have a soft spot for music played well.  This youtube video has the added bonus of music played passionately.  Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtr4I6wy8jQ
Piano Guys - Love Story meets Viva la Vida

You are not fair, I am not fair

The Husband and I picked up Small Boy from Aunt's place Wednesday evening.  This is the second stop of the evening after we had driven from Medium Boy's school.

The Husband or I usually pack a snack for Medium Boy from school.  If Small Boy is able to eat the snack (he is still allergic to nuts), we ask MB to wait for 10mins to share with his didi as we go on our way to Aunt's place.  Usually MB is happy to oblige.  He is a very loving and generous korkor.

On Wednesday, MB shared his snack with SB, then prattled on as he usually does. 

MB: We need to be fair ok.  You take that box and I take this one.  (Pause) If you are not fair and I am not fair, we will go to the corner room* (Pause while the Husband and I are struggling to contain our laughter)  But it is ok.  We will be together and we can play together. *awwww*

SB: (ignores his brother, concentrates on the snack and chomps away)

* The corner room is the smallest bedroom in our apartment that is now the boys' play room.  When either or both of them misbehave, we send them to the corner room to think.

I find it hilarious that when the boys are together, MB issues almost continuous comments at SB, and SB ignores him!!  They are cute at this age.

Kind Regards

Yesterday I was in a Kind Regards mode when I gatecrashed the call with C's team to talk about the mini project that I am coordinating.  To understand what is a Kind Regards mode, I need to explain how I open and end my emails.

In normal everymode, I start with Hello or Hi, and end with Best rgds.
When talking to my teammates, A, B, J, L and R and my ex boss J,  I sometimes dispense with the opening salutations and end with Cheers.  As we know each other very well and had been through a very trying time together in early 2012.
When I am annoyed with someone, and I still need to keep the tone civil [the Company is a very civil company.  Even when people disagree, as we all do at work sometimes, there are no vulgarities or profanity or references to anyone's mother on emails.  People state positions, and we figure out a way to collaborate and get things done.  End of story], then I end with Kind Regards.  Spelled out in full.

The other coordinator in C's team T (Hungarian 30 something male) is normally a quiet and amusing person.  In this particular instance, he stepped on my toes by his continued silence on how his work overlaps with mine ... he does not see that our work overlaps so he does not keep me or my boss E informed.  At all.  And then boom, last Thursday, he comes up with a deliverable that threatens to derail my/E's part of the project.  Via email of all the communication medium... and he did not even have the courtesy to call me first to give a heads up.  Just shot an email to me asking for my agreement that he should proceed. 

I joined C's call yesterday and I did something that I rarely do at work.  While T talked, I talked over him.  In the Asian culture, it is VERY rude to talk over someone.  You have to wait for someone to finish talking first, then start.  But T is European so he did not know that I was being very rude.  Hey, he talks over me too, so fair is fair.

When I emailed C's team after the call to write notes on what I had presented and who is to do what next steps, I was so annoyed that I dispensed entirely with opening and closing salutations.   If I could bullet point my 2 pithy sentences, I would have.  That was how annoyed I was.

J pinged me on communicater later to check how I was.  I am ok actually, just that I needed to drive home the point to both C and T that if T continues with his silence and sudden requests, he jeopardises my/E's deliverable.

A Future Ready Child

This post is about fulfilling Medium Boy's and Small Boy's human potential.  Not just academic potential, which has been the main (and often ONLY) point in the local newspapers The Straits Times in the whole furore on tweaking the PSLE *

I work in a global company which leaves its energy footprint over the 7 continents (except for maybe Antarctica).  When I look around and see how success is defined, it is not by sheer intellectual horsepower.  Yes, the proof of brains (the degree) gets you through the door to be interviewed, but after that, success is defined by the ability to look beyond in 2 dimensions – (1) space… looking beyond the current functional or business area, and (2) time… looking beyond now into the future.  This is the Company which coined the term “helicopter vision” and uses “scenario planning” to plot the future environment it foresees itself operating in.  Success is also how to build a shared vision, and bringing in the relationships (EQ = emotional quotient) aspect, how to motivate others to believe and act on your shared vision.

Academic success and life success
I am a true product of the Singaporean education system.  The first thing that I do when I enter the examination hall for a qualitative essay type subject like General Paper, Economics, Literature and Geography is to read the questions from top to bottom.   I take a slightly different approach for quantitative subjects like Mathematics but rest assured that I would have pored over the syllabus to determine the boundaries of what the syllabus determines I need to know. I do not waste time studying out of syllabus.  There is simply no time.
This type of exam smart training enables me to size up situations and parameters quickly, but only in a structured environment.  Life however is not always structured.

The Husband on the other hand was schooled in Malaysia. His childhood was spent outdoors (camping, swimming in waterfalls, catching grasshoppers for sale), entrepreneurship (buying stickers from the wet market, and selling them to his classmates for a 200% margin), helping his mom with housework and games.  School was a place to socialize and earn money from his peers.  The Husband is street smart, and quick thinking on his feet, compared to exam-smart me. 

There is a place for academic success.  But unless you want to spend your life in academia, the degrees and postgrad degrees.. all these only build the foundations, the theories and concepts, for living.  Life is inherently messy.

The boys need time to grow in EQ and SQ (Social Quotient).  Time to play, explore and yes, devise ways to hustle, to make a living from their passions.  People who care about the community that we all live in.  To grow into men I am proud to call my sons.

To be all that, they need time to discover and then develop proficiency in their passions.

Hence I am not sending Medium Boy and Small Boy to my alma mater, where they will most likely spend way too much time on homework, and how to ace exams.  Instead they are going to a holistic school in the eastern part of Singapore, because I want a childhood for them, and lifelong friends who spend time on the soccer field (or other sports) and in community service. 


* PSLE = Primary School Leaving Examinations.  All 12 year olds in Singapore, including the tiny minority who are home-schooled, have to take the PSLE.

Small Boy and Mama's stockings

Small Boy ran his hand up and down my leg, saying 'tickle tickle mama' cheekily, to feel the rasp of my stockings as I put on his shoes for him this morning.  Then he put his hands on my arm to test if I am wearing stockings on my arms too....  He looked surprised to find my arm bare.

:) Silly Small Boy. 

No matter how I wish both boys would wake up later sometimes (ok, most mornings!), they bring much joy and laughter to the Husband and myself.  We are very blessed.

The Strength of a Tigress

I remember reading this story in a natural birthing book when I was at Dr Lai Fon Min's clinic.

A mom has a special needs child, Sean.  Sean turned 16 years old and he passed a very important academic exam at the end of the year.  She spent one week in bed, completely worn out and exhausted, crying most of the time.  When her friend asked her out of concern how she is, she replied "Sean is finally where he ought to be.  I am just recovering now."  Such is the strength of a mother.

A mother is born at the same moment when the baby is born.  I understand now why Amy Chua titled her book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" for I find within myself the strength of the tiger when my boys are at risk.

Which applies equally to a wife.  I do not have the luxury of staying in bed for a week though.  The Husband started work this week and is finally where he ought to be. 

*Exhale BIG breath out*

Dear and darling

Out with Medium Boy and Small Boy for lunch yesterday. Medium Boy was looking out for fans as usual and I pointed one out to him 'Look darling, here is one....'

With a snooty air worthy of a Parisien waiter, he looked down his nose at me, all 1 metre of him, and replied loftily 'You can call me dear.'

LOL!

T-shirt and Fans

I woke up next to Small Boy.... or rather, his legs were going bang bang bang on the bed.  I was awakened by that sound.  He looked at me smilingly, pointed to my shirt and asked 'Why you wear Papa's shirt?'

The Husband and I walked to church last evening after dinner to give thanks.  Coincidentally he received news on Tue morning that he was successful in his 2nd round interview, and that same evening, C called me to tell me that I am the chosen candidate for the job.  The ILs were asleep in the room where I keep my t-shirts when we eventually returned home, hence I pulled on one of the Husband's tees to wear.
Small Boy is observant.

Medium Boy is observant too when it comes to his beloved fans.  Ah Kung (FIL) had picked up a microwave that someone threw away to repair.  As with most electrical applicances, there IS a fan inside.  Medium Boy spent some time outside with Ah Kung to discuss electric circuits, positioning of the fan (why is it behind and not in front? he asked), count the number of fan blades and other esoteric matters about fans that only a true fan lover is concerned about.  To me, a fan is a device to circulate air in the room....  It is good that Medium Boy has Ah Kung to discuss all these science/engineering matters with.  Neither the Husband nor I are thus inclined.

2 reactions to Husband's prank

The Husband was feeling a bit mischievous last evening.  First he stood in front of Medium Boy as he watched Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  Medium Boy tried to stick his head around his papa, and yelled 'Papa, you are blocking me!'

Then the Husband did the same to Small Boy.  Small Boy hopped around his papa's bulk and continued watching the program.

Addicted to Personality Typing

YAY!  I have gotten the lateral move to a new part of the Company!  I will be doing some really fancy oil accounting stuff that I have not had the chance to delve into before.  Learning is great.  Not surprising given that "Learner" is #3 on my Strength Finders 2.0

My Top 5 Strengths

1 Connectedness

2 Strategic

3 Learner

4 Responsibility

5 Intellection

 

Belbin's Team Roles (image courtesy of www2.ifm.eng.cam.ac.uk)

 

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

The MBTI preferences indicate the differences in people based on the following:

How they focus their attention or get their energy (extraversion or introversion)

How they perceive or take in information (sensing or intuition)

How they prefer to make decisions (thinking or feeling)

How they orient themselves to the external world (judgment or perception)

• My energy source is internal.  I need to recharge in my solitude.  Being around people drains my energy.  I carry my own batteries around.  I am an Introvert.
• I see the forest, then focus on individual trees. My iNtuition score is off the scale in every version of this test I have taken so far (and I have done it 3 times, once in uni, twice in the workplace).
• I make decisions based on my Feelings. 
• I tend to withhold judgement and delay important decisions.  Perceiving the world as it is... I have a very flexible sense of time in my personal life,  My professional training and children ground me in the real world.  Otherwise, I would be la-di-da-ing all over the place.

 

 

If there are any Belbin "Plants/Shapers" / MBTI "INFP" / connectedness-strategic-learner-responsibility-intellection people out there who would like to get in contact, please leave a comment.  On the other hand.... maybe talking to my mirror is not such a good idea after all.  BUT I am sure we will still find something to discover about each other :)

"Keep calm and carry on"

I saw this on a coffee mug once upon a time

"Keep calm and carry on"

I used to joke with my friends that we should write coffee mug slogans for a living.  Attempting to distill wit, humour and laughter into a few words.  After all, life is not that serious yes?

What other coffee mug words of wisdom can you think of today??

Of Mice and Men

Each day passes in a blur of action when one has small children, plus a household to manage, plus a full time job outside the house.  I am blessed and lucky because my current position allows me to work from home.  I go into the office once or twice a month to process my expense claims.  The boys go about their daily routine regardless where I work, be it at home or in the office.

Now that this routine is to be interrupted by my own upcoming job change, and the Husband's too, I pray that He will make the path smooth.  I pray that Small Boy and Medium Boy will settle down well in their new Montessori school next year, and that they will nap every afternoon at Aunt's place.  In the hustle and bustle of life, I pray that I will always remember that Small Boy, Medium Boy and the Husband are most important to me, and that I will always put them first.

Some part of me still wants to go for that promotion at work, and I have put in the CV for that particular job when CL called me last Thursday to remind me that Friday is the deadline.  The interview results of my lateral move is out by this Friday.  Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be.  This is a nerve wrecking, nail biting time.  Changes changes changes.

My boss E asked me again yesterday about the results of the job applications.  Now that she is to let me go, she feels free to be more herself, more authentic and I see facets of her that my teammate R does not.  The whole process of discovering more of E has been fascinating.  I do not miss my ex boss J so much now.....

2012 has been full of downs.  Putting in 16 hour (and one 20 hour!) work days from March to June.  The long work days left me with precious little energy to care about the foundations of my family.  I had to deal with 2 bouts of serious illnesses in the family during that time too, mine plus the Husband's.  I am taking steps now to put things back on track where they should be.  The rest is up to Him. 

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
- Robert Burns, 1785, Kilmamock

O Lord, I pray that your Will, not mine, be done in my life.  Help me to be an instrument of your Grace and Wisdom in all aspects of my life.  Free my mind to make it Yours, for truly, I am Yours alone.  I rest in You, remembering that I am first and foremost Your daughter.  Amen.

A well deserved break

Since I still have the luxury of working from home, I am sneaking out in a couple of minutes for a facial!  FY from Vanilla Century Square branch does the normal extraction, and masks... and on top of that, throws in an acupressure massage which has done wonders to clear my clogged pores.  She says I have inner heatiness, which manifests itself as pimples and sebum on my pores.   
I have had acne for the longest time since I was 11 years old.  Started with blackheads on my nose that I used the Kao Biore pore packs on (anyone remembers them?) and when those did not work, I used exfoliating cleansers to scrub my face.  FY's professional opinion of my skin: Dehydrated on the surface and oil clogged within.  Big sigh....

I do not think I am the vainest woman around.... heck, I do not even check my reflection when I pass a mirror.  My work mentor YP has recently taken to wearing makeup at work whilst she did not do so before.  She is 40 this year..... Each woman has her own limits of vanity.  The day where one wakes up and discovers new lines, or new pimples (yikes!) on the face.  Nora Ephron's 2006 book "I feel bad about my neck" is just so aptly titled.... I will check it out from the library when I get around to it.

No wonder that wherever women are, there will be a thriving hair salon / facial / manicure place!

Home Alone

Being home alone for one week is not as fun as I thought it would be.  Luckily the Husband, Medium Boy and Small Boy are coming home today!  Yay!

Over the week, I met up with long lost friends.  Monday and Thursday evenings, I had concalls to take, hence dashed home after a quick dinner.  I self invited to JA's home on Tuesday evening.  Their little one G who turns 2 in December, was discharged last Sunday after being warded for stomach flu.  G was soooo manja (clingy) to his grandmother and mom!  I suppose that is normal after being in hospital.  Sat around the dining table with J and A after the dishes were cleared to talk about our children.  A shared that the flu made its rounds at home, leading to everyone feeling a little out of sorts emotionally.  Sigh.  When the little one is ill, the adults wake up at every small sound to check, leading to lack of sleep, which in turn lowers immunity... voila, the adults are the next to be ill.

I brought probiotics and sambucol along to let G try.  His grandmother (J's mom) gave me the fish eye and declared that he eats enough fruits and vegetables... there is no need for supplements.  J and A both looked at her, then at me, as she exited the dining room.  Ah well, grandparents are entitled to their opinions, ultimately parents are the ones who have to bring our children up correct..... *shrug*

Wednesday was All Saints' Day.  I went for Wed evening mass with N, and spent a lovely evening having a meal and adult conversation with her.  No interruptions from little ones!  :)

Friday night.  I worked till 8pm until my growling stomach insisted that it be fed.  Now will do very nicely, thankkiewvelimuch, it told me.  Ah when the stomach is this way, it is best to listen before gastric strikes.  Then spent the rest of the night vacuuming and mopping the floor, which took me to 10pm.  Time to put my feet up and relax with a camomile tea while skype-ing with the Husband!

Pumping overseas for a working mom

Small Boy weaned in Jan 2012, so mentally counting the months, he was breastfed for 20-21 months.
Medium Boy weaned himself off in Sep 2009.  Breastfed for 14 months.  Medium Boy's English teacher K once commented that he is generally healthy compared to his classmates.  He has NEVER gotten HFMD, and he bounces back quickly from the common cold.

Since both boys were born, I have expressed milk on the go while away from them during the work day.  The Company is a very generous employer.  They provide nursing rooms in the SG office stocked with a Medela PISA, a fridge to store the expressed milk, a Pigeon steriliser and a sink to wash up.  I just have to bring my funnels and bottles, plus cooler bag to work.  WOW.  I used to take the amentities that the Company provided for granted until I hear of other moms pumping in the toilet over their lunch or break times. Hey, I would not eat in a toilet, why do you expect me to prepare my baby's food in a toilet? Some bosses even make snide remarks about cows and boobs when the moms come back from a pump break.   These bosses need to know that breastfed babies fall ill less often, and hence the mom takes urgent leave less often.  Everyone wins with breastfeeding, the baby, the mom and the employer.  See this from our own Health Promotion Board!

I made the following overseas trips while I was still a nursing mother.

• Jakarta, Indonesia.  Medium Boy was 8 months old.  This was my first trip away from MB since he was born.  I remember crying into the phone the 1st night I was away from him when the Husband put his ear to the phone.  The sound of his gu-gu-gah undid me.
• Bangkok, Thailand.  Medium Boy was 11 months old.
• Chennai, India.  Small Boy was 5 months old.  J initially was reluctant to ask me to go since I was just 1 month back at work from maternity leave.  Well, my teammates AJ, J and R were all off to Chennai.... it would be a career limiting move NOT to volunteer to travel too.  I appreciated very much that J was concerned enough about my personal life not to ask me to travel.  What a man... What A Man... he is still the most humane supervisor I have had in my entire life :) and I miss having him as a boss (ah, this is a topic for another post)
• KL, Malaysia.  Small Boy was 1 year old.
• London, UK.  Small Boy was 16 months old.

Here are some tips for a smooth experience of pumping on the go.

1. Bring the supplies.  I brought milk bags (stating the obvious: bring more thatn you think you need!), cooler bag for transporting from hotel to office, freezer bag for transporting from hotel/office to airport.  The Fridge To Go brand worked marvellously for me keeping the milk nicely frozen.... yes, even the 16 hours door to door London trip. 
2. Freeze the FTG freezer bag in hotel freezer at least 2 days before you are due to go to the airport.  Gives you time to put things right if the bellboy misunderstands your instructions.
3. Bring the pump and all pump parts! (including the battery and charger) I left my funnels in the home fridge while I was dashing out to the airport for my Chennai trip.  Horror of horrors.  Luckily I had attended a BMSG talk about hand expression where Mow Lie generously shared with the audience how she hand expressed through her working days as a sales person.  I had to put theory into practice really fast!
4. Watch for language differences.  In Thailand, my Thai colleague wrote out stickers for me to paste on the milk bags "This is milk for babies.  Keep frozen below 0 degrees C".  She was a breastfeeding mom herself and was concerned the bellboys do not know the difference between chill and freeze.
5. Follow the milk!  Large hotels generally have a bigger freezer.  My first experience in Jakarta went really well... the milk bags were frozen.  With the first experience safely under my belt, I was complacent when I went to Bangkok.  I did not check the hotel freezer at all..... Turns out the tiny boutique hotel probably had a tiny freezer and the Thai bellboy was too polite to tell me that my FTG freezer bag is toooo big to go into their freezer.  My frozen milk was dripping condensation on the way from hotel to airport.... I did not want to think what was happening to the milk on the hot Bangkok tarmac.  A whole week's supply.... sigh... down the drain.  I made the same mistake of not following the milk for my Chennai trip.  I thought I had covered the bases when I arrived on Monday and specifically told the bellboy I wanted to see the freezer in the kitchen.  Yes I followed him down to the kitchen!  Reassured myself that the freezer is large enough.  Then left it at that for Tuesday and Wednesday, as I was too exhausted from the day's work to check again.  Thursday I decided to pop down to the kitchen again to check on the milk.  Horrors!!!  The milk was just left in the chiller.  After 3 days of hand expressing.... Imagine my shock.....  The Indian chef and restaurant manager both looked at my ice queen demeanour and were shocked into complying with my requests to please put the milk into the freezer.  I received a complimentary dessert for room service that night.... but what is a dessert compared to 2 days' worth of milk down the drain.... Sigh.  A true learning experience that I hope no mom shall ever have to go through.
6. Enlist help!  Bellboys, colleagues who speak the language, even the hotel receptionist are new best friends.  When they know milk is for baby, they are generally accommodating.

There were many angels along the way.  Mr H in the Jakarta hotel who took my milk with a smile, and personally escorted me to the freezer and back, making sure I put on winterwear before entering the room-sized freezer.  Mr P in Park Plaza London, who bowed over my milk and aceded to my daily requests to check on them.  Mr R in The Regent KL, who shared with me stories of his own baby boy and encouraged me in my breastfeeding journey.
On behalf of Medium Boy and Small Boy, I thank all of you for being such darlings about accommodating my request that the breastmilk be securely frozen.


Caveat:  I am no super mommy.  Breastfeeding for more than a year for both Medium Boy and Small Boy is pure Singaporean kiasu-ness because I am sold on the many benefits for baby.  Never mind the benefits for me too.  Heh!

Books, books, books

Small Boy likes to read.  When I sit on the living room floor to read, he will pull out a book for me to read to him.  Usually it would be either 'Goodnight Moon' or 'Brown Bear'.  Spot the Dog series plus Karen Katz books are also Small Boy's favourite books as he likes to open the flaps to see what lies beneath. 

He enjoys the Usborne number rhymes and action rhymes that I borrow from the library too.
There was an Electricity book that he and Medium Boy pored over, plus an alphabet race car book that starts with A for Announcer [Medium Boy likes to read aloud the words 'Gentlemen, start your engines!' that the A for Announcer text has] and ends with Z for Zoom!  Both boys pause at the M for Motor page to admire the engine and various moving parts.  K for Kill Switch also gets their attention as there are speedometers and aldometers to count.  The Husband is a big F1 Ferrari fan... so he directs their attention to the car's dashboard whenever all of us are in the car.

Medium Boy used to like to read too.  Then he grew up a little bit, and discovered there is lots to explore outside of my lap.  His favourite book now is 'Little Red Rocket Hood' with Disney Junior's Little Einsteins as the subplot characters.  .... because.... the main character is a ROCKET, and rockets have propellars!