Holidays bleah

Mommies like routine.  Ok this mommy likes Medium Boy and Small Boy to have a routine.  I really believe that little ones behave better when they know what to expect next.

Holidays are a time of relaxing the routine, hence it wrecks havoc with my own routine.

The Husband on the other hand thinks nothing of disrupting the routine to go off on adventures..... Swimming.  Beach combing.  Watching a centipede make its way across the pavement.  Aargh.  Drives me crazy. 

Things get even crazier when these adventurous activities eat into nap time.  For then, I have 2 half-sleepy boys on my hands who are prone to sudden bursts of energy in between their general lethargy.

I have put my foot down and insist that their adventures tomorrow are confined to the morning.  3 days without naps is messing up my own routine!  I miss the time to potter around the house, do my own things without having to act as a referee every 10 minutes, or thinking up activities to keep both Medium Boy and Small Boy occupied.

Having the other set of grandparents watching like hawks over our everyday activities (since when did my life become a soccer match for your commentary.....) is also not fun.

I miss Singapore, my own home, even though the weather is still hazy.

Reckon I am having an AARGH moment.
Breathe Celine breathe.....

Glad to escape the haze

The boys, the Husband and I are escaping from hazy Singapore tomorrow.  We had planned to visit the in laws in June, coinciding with the boys’ school holidays, not to run away from the haze.  I cannot wait to go.  I can only hope and pray that the wind direction does not blow the smog [let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? Haze sounds too benign for the smoke that gets into the building even when the windows are close] into Kuching too.

The milkshake angel

Moving around outside the home with 2 young active ones is not easy.
They do not MEAN to be noisy.  They love to chatter, to practise their new vocabulary on each other and on me and the Husband.
They do not MEAN to drop food.  They do not have the fine motor skills to get the food from plate / bowl to mouth without mishap.

That's why I appreciate servers at eating place who appreciate that my children are just children.

I had gone up to Mount Faber to take yet another cable car ride and the day was really warm.  Flopped down at the cafe to order a cold iced tea for myself.  The Husband had mint tea.  The boys shared a milkshake.  When ordering, the young man (probably in his late teens or early 20s) serving us asked me "Is the milkshake for both of them to share?"  I said yes, expecting that the drink would come in one cup with 2 straws.

5 minutes later, he served the boys one milkshake in TWO plastic cups (same colour) and TWO straws.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Fellow parents of young ones will know how the combination of hot weather and 2 brothers frequently lead to verbal arguments which often lead to pushes / shoves, which end up in me standing as a physical barrier between Medium Boy and Small Boy, so that the brothers do not pummel each other, inflicting permanent damage.

The nice young man side-stepped all of that for me with his thoughtful gesture of separating the one milkshake into 2 identical cups.  WOW WOW WOW.

I wrote a letter to his management to compliment him.

When Two become One

My teammate A is engaged!  However she kept the news quiet, and I only found out about it after SY (sitting 2 seats away from me) asked if I had noticed a very nice ring on A’s finger when A was in the office 2 Thursdays ago.  A sits in a separate office, and she is in my office space only on Thursday to attend a weekly inventory meeting.  I then pinged P – another teammate sitting in another country’s office – and asked him to confirm.

P said A changed her status on Facebook from “single” to “engaged” 2 weeks ago.  I do not have work colleagues as my FB friends, hence I am out of the loop.  Hey, I am late to the party!

In a Hollywood movie about brides-to-be, a proposal will be depicted as a gaggle of women rehashing each moment, congratulatory parties with the bride-to-be receiving presents from her friends…. In short, a celebratory moment.    This silence from A is VERY strange indeed.  Being a naturally inquisitive person (the Singaporean term is kaypoh), I finally caught up with A last Friday. 

I had a brief 15 minute hallway conversation with A and this is what I learned:

• Her fiancé is someone whom she has known for 10+ years now.  An old school friend.
• For the past 5 years on Valentine’s Day, he has flowers delivered to her office.  All the way from home country to Singapore!  Must be an online order from the florist.
• A did not consider herself to be in a relationship with him.  Her exact words – I am here, he is there, there is no relationship.  They catch up for dinners and movies when A goes back to her home country.  His proposal 2 weeks ago was a complete surprise to her!
• A  initially thought he was joking when the ring appeared.  When she realized he is serious, she beat him up (gently!) saying “How can you do this to me?”  At the back of her mind, she knew that this day of reckoning – yes or no, defining their relationship  – will come one day.
• A is one scared lady.  Of marriage.  Of the lifetime commitment.

It seems to me that A has been infected with our generation’s unrelenting focus on individualism, the feminism which tells women: get a job, a career, a life, but please… no long term relationships, they tie us down.  A is 30.  The mythical age in the teens and 20s, where a girl thinks she will finally be a woman.  You know, stable career, well travelled, eloquent and able to articulate her own ideas.  And finally at 30, the woman will marry.

I do not have a neat answer for why I married when A asked me.  Was it time?  How do I know this is THE one?  However I do know why I am married now.

Overturning my prejudice against marriage

The notion of marriage being constraining, being a web of financial commitments (house, car and yes eventually children) took root in my head…. I do not exactly know when.  The Disney princess idea of waiting for my prince to come was never in my head.  I would travel the world myself and have adventures myself, thank you very much.  Who needs a man?

When I was in Australia doing my MBA, I met Revital and Amiel, who originally grew up in Israel but have lived in London, US before deciding to study in Australia.  Revi is my coursemate.  She is 3 years older than me, and she had been happily married to Amiel for 4 years at the time I met her.  She is also highly educated and articulate, capable of holding her own in any intellectual conversation.  She is a different, more gentle, more joyful person when Amiel is around.  She is the first person of my generation, someone I consider a peer, who is obviously thrilled and happily married.  I am not sure what it says about Singapore / my generation / any other sociological construct etc that I find the fact of her happy marriage unusual.

Revi and I were studying together one day at her home.  I finally plucked up the courage to ask her “Isn’t marriage a constraint?  Don’t you feel tied down being married?”  She looked at me incredulously “You can still have adventures after you marry, you know.  In fact, I have more freedom now than when I was living with my parents.”

AHA! A revelation.

I told A my little story.  Probably both of us have seen too many marriages falling apart for various reasons.  To have faith, to choose wisely a man of moral strength (inner self) and motivated to act for the greater good (external action orientation).

Bless all of us with happy marriages :)

Service is not servility

On Sunday, I brought my parents out to a HDB void deck eatery to celebrate their anniversary.  The eatery was crowded enough that there was nary an empty table in sight when we arrived...we had reservations so seating us was quite fast.

The first course appeared 30mins after my sister ordered.  The PRC waiter who brought out our first dish was quite interesting... he said as he placed the large plate over my shoulder (in mandarin) "dui bu qi (= sorry)...."

I looked him in the eye and bantered with a smile "Ah you are carrying our dinner, so there is no need to be sorry!"

He looked startled for a moment, then he smiled back too.  And bustled on to complete his other tasks, since customers at other tables were clamouring for his attention.  After that, I noticed that he kept the boys' water glasses filled, and was quick to our table's requests for additional cutlery.

I was reflecting on why he looked startled... the Husband had this insight which I reckon is very true.... that most customers in Singapore reckon servility is their due since we are paying.  Not true at all!

F is for Full, E is for...

.... Eat! 

So says Medium Boy as he pointed to the fuel guage in the car.
There are only 2 bars (out of 8 bars) left in the petrol tank, Papa, so the car must EAT.
*grin*

Teaching graciousness

My colleague SY visited our home with some other colleagues one Tuesday evening.  I had my helper cook Sarawak kolo mee to serve them.  Medium Boy and Small Boy were very happy that there were guests at home, espeically since the Husband was away on a business trip.

The next morning, I was on my way to shuttle both boys to school, helper to aunt's place and myself to the office.  Medium Boy sat beside me..... out of the blue, his voice piped up "Why do auntie SY's teeth look like this" and he mimed his teeth exaggeratedly jutting out like a horse.

I replied "She is born that way, that's the teeth that her papa and mama gave her."

MB had a thoughtful look on his face.

I continued "It is good that you only ask me now, and not in front of auntie SY.  Not polite to comment on other people's looks, darling."

The body is only a physical facade around a person's soul anyway. 

Snapshot in the morning

Today is the first day of a month long holiday for the boys.   They entertained themselves this morning as the Husband and I readied for work… Parents of young ‘uns will know this is a RARE occasion…. Definitely worth a blog entry.

Medium Boy wielded the light rod that he received on Friday from his classmate’s birthday party, and affixed “Air post” stickers to the scotch tape roll.  Small Boy stood at the other end of the living room to catch the scotch tape with his red B cap.  MB shouted out “Are you ready, didi?”  SB replied “Ready, steady, go!”  MB poked the scotch tape with the end of his light rod.  On they went at this game for 5 whole rounds, before MB decided to change the roles and twirl the roll, aiming it at the bottom of the chair.

I looked at these 2 boys as they huddled over how / who to handle the scotch tape roll first…. They wore matching white tees with blue collars.  My heart took a snapshot…. *click *

[or “cccccclllllic” as Small Boy is wont to say]