Intuition

Intuition is nothing more than taking in data points, and seeing a pattern.

My intuition kicked in ~2 years ago.  On a work telecon meeting with my teammates, I listened half-heartedly to the usual preamble of how are yous, and what has been the highlight/lowlight of the past fortnight, when suddenly my teammate mentioned that she was in hospital for a week.  I messaged her almost immediately to ask how she was, and was she better.  After she evaded giving me a straight answer after I asked what was her illness.... I said... "Did you have a miscarriage?"

She was surprised enough to start yes, and really how did I know?

The data points are (1) she is normally a bubbly, enthusiastic person (2) she sounded sad - yes it came through in her voice even though the telecon only had audio without video (3) I know she had been trying for a baby from a previous conversation.  Putting all these separate pieces of information together, I deduced that she had been pregnant, and lost the baby.
See, easy peasy.

This afternoon, I went to an alternative healer who is trained in the ancient Chinese art of bone therapy.  He asked me to lie face down, felt along my spine, and said a couple of startling things about me, things that I never expected a total stranger to know about me....

Intuition?  Tis his training in the healing arts that gave him these insights into me.  My body really was laid out before him like a map.  This spot was connected to my heart, this to my colon, this to my reproductive system.  WOW.

I suppose it only seems wow to me, because I am not trained to see what he saw.

In the age of Google where every fact can be found with a search, the art of intuition is even more crucial for excelling in one's chosen field.  A teacher leads you to the facts, education is seeing patterns when the data points are a mess to the untrained eye.

Purple sky

This post was written mid Mar before my Melbourne 2-week self drive holiday.  I have sorely neglected my blog... Cannot post in the office due to IE incompatibility with Blogger (and I think Corporate IT blocked blogger!) and little time to post at home after eating dinner, and putting the boys to sleep.

I had set my internal alarm clock to wake me at 630am.  Half an hour before the boys were supposed to wake.  To catch up on my alone time – reading newspapers, and reading Facebook feeds. I probably made a little too much noise opening my closet to take out my work clothes (even though I tried to move quietly).  Medium Boy stirred.  I tip-toed out to the kitchen to toast my bread, and make myself a cup of coffee.  Medium Boy stumbled out sleepily, then flew to hug me at the waist.  “What happened, dear?” I asked.  “I missed you when I woke up, Mama…” he replied, rubbing his eyes. “Mama, I have an idea. Let’s cuddle and watch the sky.”

 

And so we did.  As we huddled in the chilly morning under the blanket watching the sky turn from night to day, Medium Boy told me that his Ikea toy dog had a bad dream, of bad guys chasing him.  I checked in on his dog, gave him and Dog a few kisses, and yes, I really wanted to read my own stuff.  Hence I eased out of the bed, and told him I was really hungry, and I needed to eat.  He looked at me with solemn eyes (same expression when he first opened his eyes at birth to look at me, my firstborn is a solemn one) and said ok, but come back soon.

 

He came out to get me – again! – when I took a longer time than he wanted.  This push and pull, is the weave and warp of my life now.  I want to be with the children, and I want to be alone.  When I share this with the Husband, he looks at me incredulously. Tell them to leave you alone when you want to be alone, he says.  That easy?  Yes it is that easy.  And only a dad would think about that, a mom definitely wouldn't.

 

Really?  I do not know. I do know that I need to nourish myself.  And nourishing myself was what I did this morning when I cuddled my son and watched night turn into day.

 

The sky is purple, he told me.  

Yes my son, it is.  You notice the purples and the oranges only when you look.  Please continue to look even as you grow.  I am proud that you turn to nature to start your day.

 

Where are the kids?

Hello everybody!  I am back writing again on my blog.  Came back from MY after the annual CNY trip back.  The boys had FUN FUN FUN! Fireworks, poppers thrown onto the floor, firecrackers, topped off with a trip to bathe and frolic in the river on Tuesday.

My boys are active boys…. they run around, they tug my hand to show me stuff, most tree branches have to be inspected for any interesting insects that might come out…. bringing them outside means the world entertains them, not just me or the Husband.

Last evening at ~815pm, I walked with the 2 boys out to the library.  Strangely enough, there were no kids playing at the playground downstairs or cycling/skating at the concrete court.  Where are all the kids?

If I guess correctly, most children were doing homework at home, or coming back/going to enrichment classes on a Thu evening.  It would be a strange day when my boys grow up and they too have their own routines.  They are now old enough that I do not need to monitor them (for safety reasons) 24/7 and I have some space and time to do my own things… and young enough that they still tug my hand to show me their latest discovery, be it a new way to construct a fan (Medium Boy) or a new configuration of bowling pins / race tracks (Small Boy).

Life is good with these 2 little boys around.

Look back at Nov and Dec

I realise that it has been a good 2 months since I last blogged.  The reason I started to blog is to capture the fleeting thoughts and make sense of them…. The days and months have passed me quickly by.

Aug was the announcement of the reorganisation at work. I start tomorrow with a new boss and new teammates.  Hope the new setup is more beneficial for my personal growth journey!

Nov and Dec were trying months.
15 Nov: start of school holidays.  My ILs arrive with SIL's 1-and-a-half year old daughter N in tow.  They bring lots of stuff over with a baby, some of which are still cluttering up my home today.  I shall bring the playpen, diapers, baby bottle detergent, baby bottle brush and baby clothes back to my SIL when I return to MY for CNY.
I receive news at work that my presence is necessary for a workshop on 28 Nov, 2 weeks before the event, when I had already taken leave to be with my family at Legoland.

16 Nov: Little N falls ill with a wheezing cough and runny nose.

18 Nov: I accompany N and ILs to the boys' PD, who as I blogged before in Feb, is worth her weight in gold. I accompany them to explain to the nurses bat little N as the PD normally does not take in new patients as her current patient load is full to bursting.

22 Nov: The Husband and I take a day off to celebrate my birthday.  We drove to JB to shop for the boys' at-home clothes (RM5 for a tee! RM10 for shorts! cheap!) and lug groceries including milk powder back home.

24 Nov: SIL arrives with elder daughter G.  G and Medium Boy promptly devise all sorts of games together.  I am reminded anew why I agreed to the crowds descending on my 88 sq metre apartment in the first place…. to make memories with the boys' cousins!  Hang onto that thought…… because…..

27 Nov: I retire to bed with a headache.  Or rather, that was my original intention when I returned home.  Medium Boy, Small Boy and G have child tickets to the Mickey Mouse magic show at MBS.  The Husband bought just ONE adult ticket.  The SIL decides to be the security guard cum bag concierge over the children.  Seeing that I am home, the MIL decides to go out too, leaving me alone with the helper and N.
N cries for one hour, 15mins before she falls asleep.

28 Nov: I wake up with headache still intact and sit through an intense workshop in Park Hotel, half my mind on work and networking, half my mind wishing I were with the boys at Legoland.

29 Nov: I take a bus to Legoland.  Start off from SG at 9am.  Waiting at the SG checkpoint - 45mins.  Waiting at the MY checkpoint - 1h10mins.  I arrive at Legoland at 1130am.

30 Nov: Return to SG, driving the females of the home (MIL, SIL, G and N, helper) home first.  The boys (FIL, the Husband, Medium Boy, Small Boy) are off on an errand to retrieve the Groupon present that FIL bought online.  Indicated the shipping address as one of the Husband's friends staying in JB.  Friend was not at home when courier came.  Courier refused to release the package to the Husband's friend, citing that his name is not the same as the one indicated on the package.  Gee.  What a whole lot of trouble over one online purchase.
30 Nov was the Husband's 2nd attempt to pick up the package.  22 Nov was the first.

1 Dec: ILs plus 2 little girls depart SG.

9 Dec: Little India riot in SG.  Helper's husband is fatally stabbed in Manila.  While doing his job as a security guard.  What an absolute waste.
I complete my last ops note of 2013.  Together with margin latest estimates that indicate we will fall short of target.  Sigh.

10 Dec: Helper receives news.  Her 12yo daughter sits silent in a corner of the morgue after identifying her father's body.  Only speaks and cries when my helper calls home.

12 Dec: Helper flies home.

29 Dec: Helper returns.

1 Jan: I host New Year lunch for my parents and aunts today.  It is a blessing to feast with family :)

As you can see, I have had 2 months of ups and downs.  Above all, I am thankful for the Husband who made things easier for me when he could.