Sunday 6 April 2014

Purple sky

This post was written mid Mar before my Melbourne 2-week self drive holiday.  I have sorely neglected my blog... Cannot post in the office due to IE incompatibility with Blogger (and I think Corporate IT blocked blogger!) and little time to post at home after eating dinner, and putting the boys to sleep.

I had set my internal alarm clock to wake me at 630am.  Half an hour before the boys were supposed to wake.  To catch up on my alone time – reading newspapers, and reading Facebook feeds. I probably made a little too much noise opening my closet to take out my work clothes (even though I tried to move quietly).  Medium Boy stirred.  I tip-toed out to the kitchen to toast my bread, and make myself a cup of coffee.  Medium Boy stumbled out sleepily, then flew to hug me at the waist.  “What happened, dear?” I asked.  “I missed you when I woke up, Mama…” he replied, rubbing his eyes. “Mama, I have an idea. Let’s cuddle and watch the sky.”
 
And so we did.  As we huddled in the chilly morning under the blanket watching the sky turn from night to day, Medium Boy told me that his Ikea toy dog had a bad dream, of bad guys chasing him.  I checked in on his dog, gave him and Dog a few kisses, and yes, I really wanted to read my own stuff.  Hence I eased out of the bed, and told him I was really hungry, and I needed to eat.  He looked at me with solemn eyes (same expression when he first opened his eyes at birth to look at me, my firstborn is a solemn one) and said ok, but come back soon.
 
He came out to get me – again! – when I took a longer time than he wanted.  This push and pull, is the weave and warp of my life now.  I want to be with the children, and I want to be alone.  When I share this with the Husband, he looks at me incredulously. Tell them to leave you alone when you want to be alone, he says.  That easy?  Yes it is that easy.  And only a dad would think about that, a mom definitely wouldn't.
 
Really?  I do not know. I do know that I need to nourish myself.  And nourishing myself was what I did this morning when I cuddled my son and watched night turn into day.
 
The sky is purple, he told me.  
Yes my son, it is.  You notice the purples and the oranges only when you look.  Please continue to look even as you grow.  I am proud that you turn to nature to start your day.